MY FEAR

My phone beeped loudly. I grumbled with irritation as I rolled over in bed. I opened one eye and peeped at the time. A little more sleep wouldn't hurt one bit. As I slid back into oblivion, a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach kept me half alert. Again my phone beeped even more loudly. Christ! Can't a lady just be left alone? I quietly cursed the man who invented the GSM as I roughly tossed the duvet aside and stretched myself in an exaggerated manner. My irritation was destined for greater things though......
As I picked up my phone and saw the annoying broadcast message I tossed it aside, my annoyance heightened. God only knew how much I hated those broadcasts. I frowned my way to the kitchen and then the bathroom. I was late for work..... again! I had to blame someone, so I blamed the people sending me pings in the middle of the night and disturbing my sleep. My anger had reached its maturity.

I grudgingly settled down to work and slowly regained my joy as I surfed the internet. That nagging feeling was still present, I had to see what was in the link sent to my phone through the broadcast. It was a video. My heart stopped for a fleeting second as I beheld the gruesome scene. A little boy lay limply in his mother's arms, the top of his head was gone, his skull emptied of its contents, brains splattered all over the road, half his face mashed into an unrecognisable pulp. His mother's wails and screams tore at my heart. I didn't want to look but my eyes were glued. I sat frozen on my seat. My goosebumps were the size of boils. My hair stood on end. For a second I thought I might pass out.........

There's just one thing I fear above all else.
Its the fear of the unknown.
I'd rather know what lay ahead.
I'd rather not be taken by surprise (least not bad surprises)
I'd rather know how my day will end.
I'd rather know exactly what to expect.
Its the waiting and expecting that frays my nerves.
It's the hoping and yet not knowing that makes my belly churn in anxiety.
It's not knowing exactly how I'll draw my last breath that makes me pray all day that when my time is right I'll just lay down and never wake!
Can I be the architect of my own fate?
Can I determine how I'll wake or whether I'll see the day break?
Maybe if I just prayed a little more, I could determine my fate!

What is your fear? Just be frank and share ;)